The Wolf & The Weasel
by Akal-Saris
Summary: It was just another boring day for Saitoh Hajime...boring, that is, until Makimachi Misao decided to barge into his office and drag him off to find her missing okashira! Chapter 1 up!


Disclaimer:  I don't own RK, Misao, Cho, or Saitou.  Otherwise, the series would be entirely SD, and it would be called "Rurouni Hiko."

The Wolf and the Weasel – Chapter 1 – Surprise Meeting Through the Eyes of the Wolf…[aka Saitoh's viewpoint] 

I glanced over the papers on my desk.  Orders to investigate the recent rash of pickpockets, the possibility of traffic increasing on Main Street, problems with people ignoring the no-sword rules because swords look cool, and orders to limit the budget on tobacco, as it was draining funding from other parts of the force.  

Putting out my cigarette on the last order, I sighed and stared at the ceiling.  I miss the old days.  The thrill of the hunt, the killing, the friends and comrades, the killing, the brilliant political strategies, the killing, the killing, the killing.  This second-rate job as an assistant chief doesn't help much either.  

Tokio wasn't helping my mood any.  After she heard about my part-timing jobs, she leaves for her mother's.  How typical:  mention you work as an assassin, and she asks you to pack an extra gi.  Mention you have a part-time job as senior editor of _Playsamurai_, and she's gone.  Women.  I lit another cigarette as I pondered the large yellow stain over my head.  Hmm…maybe if I move a few feet to the left, I can make 2 large spots, and lengthen them…then add a bit of black, and use my sword to cut a few well-placed marks in the ceiling, and soon I can have two gigantic amber hitokiri-evil eyes and a cross-shaped scar glaring menacingly at me from over my head every time I try to work, watching me for the slightest mistake, and then, **WHAP**!   

**………**

Then again, I like the stain the way it is.  It's just a little boring.  What I need now is some excitement, adventure, and indiscriminate slaughter, though I'm so desperate I'd settle for the first two and just snarl at the new recruits…almost as good as murder, especially when they flinch.  A knock sounded on my door as I was pondering the possible ways to mix cigarettes, torturing new recruits, and indiscriminate slaughter without getting arrested.  Cho poked his head in.

"What is it?"  God, that hair disturbs me.  In fact, it angers me.  How the hell does he do it?  Is it a subtle way of mocking me?  He will pay for his bad hair styling today.  Cho grew visibly nervous at the look in my eyes.

"Some girl's here to see you, says she lost her man and needs you bad."  Huh.  That's a new one.  

"I see.  Send her in."  Cho nodded and left, his hair leaving a few small stains on the ceiling.  Hmm.  Maybe if I kill Cho, I could use his head as a giant paintbrush, and create a big picture of a happy wolf on my ceiling, standing over the bodies of his fallen-

**………**

That settles it; I definitely need something different in my life.

And stripping for money is definitely out of the question.

I looked at the door.  If I went all-out and gatotsu'd it, would it take me two seconds or two and a half?  Would it crumple like so many Ishin Shishi redshirts, or burst open and terrify the new recruits down the hall?  Hmm.  An intriguing question.  Okay, here goes…

"**Gatotsu Ishiki**!"  Cue the freaky-cool animation of a wolf flickering through me as I valiantly charge my opponent.  Cue also the door opening to reveal a short girl who looks vaguely familiar, and not just because I'm the senior editor of _Playsamurai_.

"HEY!  It's me, MISAO!!  Remember??  I was with you and Kenshin back when –ara?"  Uh-oh.

"TOKYO POLICE STATION DOOR, I AM TAKING YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!!"  My strike pulverized the door satisfactorily, barely missing the girl's head in the process.

"EE—AA-HHH!!!!   Why, YOU!!!!"  I blinked at the girl's eyes began to flame.  Retreat suddenly seemed a wise option, considering the damage Tokio can do when HER eyes start to flame.

"Come back here!!!  **Keicho Kick**!!"  I ducked her kick and backed away.

"Ahem.  Assaulting an officer is a crime, and-" My eyes widened as the girl pulled out a double handful of kunai.

"**Sankatsu Tobikunai**!!!!"  My wolf-like reflexes kicked in, and I dove under my desk as I saw my paperwork pinned to the wall.  Gripping my sword, I considered my options.  If I used the second stance, I could probably shut her up faster, but it wouldn't be very neat.  My zero stance isn't a good idea either… having a dead girl stuck into the wall would be troublesome.  I stopped and listened.  Dead silence.  Slowly, I peered over the top of the desk.

My eyes met two equally wide eyes inches away from me.  Our eyes locked, and for several tense moment neither of us moved.  Then I blinked.

"SAITOU-SAN!!!!"  I opened my eyes just as she launched herself at me.

"OI!  Whoof!"  My reprimand was cut short as Misao landed on my stomach, causing me to make an interesting "whoof" noise.  Forcing my eyes to stop spinning, I fixed a glare onto the overactive girl, who was happily sitting on top of me.

"You have some explaining to do…don't you?"  She nodded furiously.

"Uh-HUH!  You remember Aoshi-sama?  The tall, incredibly sexy man with the poker face?"  I nodded.

"Yes.  What about him?"  Misao leaned closer to me and stage whispered.

"He's MISSING!" My poor, poor ears.

"Unh?"  I blinked, trying to remember how I ended up on the ground with a ninja on my chest.

"He's gone!  Vanished!  Left!  AGAIN!"

"Oh.  And what do you expect me to do about it?"  She looked at me with great big puppy eyes.

"Can you go find him?  Pleeeaaassseeee?"  I recovered enough of my dignity to hit her with smirk # 17.  The really nasty "I-Know-You-Need-My-Help-But-I'm-A-Jerk-And-Won't-Lift-A-Finger-To-Help-You" smirk I reserve for small children and puppies.

"And what if I said that I had more important things to do?"  I glanced towards my paperwork, hoping she wouldn't realize that they were all orders for cigarettes in bulk.

"**NOTHING** is more important than finding AOSHI-SAMA!  **NOTHING**!"  I held back a slight whimper as I realized that I was about to go deaf.

"Why don't you ask Battousai?  I'm **sure** he'd just **love** to see you again."  Heheheh.   I am so cruel.  Only a monster like me would wish Misao on his worst enemy.  Heheheh…score one for the Wolf of Mibu.  My elation was cut short by a slight sniffle from Misao as she looked away.

"I tried, but he's missing!  They all are!  And I don't wanna go home without Aoshi-sama, but you're the only person I know who can help me find him…" I sighed mentally as I arranged my face to look as un-intimidating and fatherly as possible.  Ouch.  I forgot how painful it is to smile while fantasizing about permanently silencing your audience.

"Yare yare… I'll help find your missing okashira.  Just get off of me."  Misao whirled around with a radiant smile and glomped me.  

"THANKS, SAITOU-SAN, YOU WON'T REGRET IT, I **PROMISE**!!!"

"Air!  I need air, itachi musume!"  Misao's friendly hug rapidly changed to a stranglehold.

"WHAT???  WHO'S a WEASEL GIRL???"  I felt my eyes go swirly as a chibi-Misao shook me back and forth.  Funny…I feel a sudden longing for the peace and quiet of my office.  Anything to make her stop shaking me and screaming in my ears…

"Summimasen… itai…" Misao released me, satisfied with my apology.

"Whoa!  You **can** apologize!  Neat!"  I instantly recovered and nailed her with Glare #4.  The glare that says, "Expound-On-The-Fact-And-Suffer-Mutilation."  Miraculously, she took my hint.

"Well??  Are we gonna leave or what?  C'mon, time's-a-wasting!"  I grasped desperately towards my cigarette boxes as Misao pulled me out of the office.  Damn, I missed them…but at least I got my sword.  Cho gave me a cheery wave goodbye while Misao dragged me down the street.  Even as we moved towards the train station to begin our search for Shinomori Aoshi, I could still remember the gleeful expression on Cho's face.

When I return, he will be the first to die.

** The End for now! **

Japanese terms used:

Gatotsu Ishiki: Saitou's first stance.

Keicho Kick: Misao's flying kick move.

Sankatsu Tobikunai: Misao's kunai-throwing move.

Okashira: Boss, leader.  In this case, Aoshi.

Itachi musume: Weasel girl, heehee!

Itai: Ouch.   

Summimasen: Sorry.

Misao:  OH!  And before we go, don't forget to review Akal-sama's ficcy pleeeeaaaaseeee? ***Puppy eyes***

Saitou:  If you don't review, I will be forced to gatotsu you. ***Glare #22***


End file.
